The Russian Mosin Nagant Forum

Some very practical and cost saving advice in this time of irrationality!

My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the coronavirus. One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test. This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctor's tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics, and because they're shutdown too.

Directions:

Simply go outside and pee in the front yard.


If ant's gather: DIABETES.

If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE

If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL

If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS

If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER'S

Dagnabbit! All of the above.....

What does it mean if it's bloody?


In my case it meant I passed a kidney stone, but because I panicked and went to the Base ER, they also found bladder cancer (Real early stages, low grade non-invasive).

I think I'll see if it works in the back yard before I try the front.